


Forward

by nervousgaylaughter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, post episode 109, they will dance!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26411233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nervousgaylaughter/pseuds/nervousgaylaughter
Summary: After her talk with Caduceus in Rexxentrum, Yasha thinks about her future and what she wants moving forward and realizes that there’s still one thing holding her back.Post episode 109.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 7
Kudos: 186





	Forward

After spending the day in Rexxentrum, the Mighty Nein decided on dinner in Nicodranas to reunite with Veth. A nice night at the beach would be a welcome breather before they had to face Trent and Caleb's past the next day.

Dinner was very posh, at least it was to Yasha. Jester might be accustomed to food like this but Yasha has never seen food this delicate and complex. She ate meals she couldn’t have ever imagined growing up in Xhorhas. She was used to meats and roots, but this was fish and greens. Yasha notices Fjord enjoying his fish and laughs to herself, remembering their trip to the fish market with Beau a few weeks ago. Beau. The small monk had been in Yasha’s mind more and more recently. Echos of her talk with Caduceus earlier that day come to her mind. 

_ You know what the most common that someone says at a funeral is? I thought I had more time.  _ He had said in a nonchalant yet implying tone.

Yasha understands this feeling better than most living people might. She wishes she had more time with Zuala. She wishes she had more time with the Mighty Nein while she was possessed. She thinks of what she wants in her future during dinner, staying quiet in the group conversation but making comforting eye contact with Beau from time to time. Their meal comes to a close and the party headed back to the Lavish Chateau to turn in for the night. 

After retiring to her room, Yasha began to remove her armor. She felt strange. Lighter. More in control of her own fate than she had ever been before. Except for her breastplate. She can still feel Obann’s chilling yet at the time comforting hands placing it upon her. It carries a certain weight of guilt on her and she knows what she has to do.

Yasha walks across the hall and knocks on the door to Beau’s room. A sleepy Beauregard answers rather quickly and opens the door. 

“Hey Yash, what’s up?”

“Could you help me?”

“Yeah yeah of course what do you need?” Beau asked back with a smile.

“Can you... can you help me remove this?” Yasha says pointing to her breastplate.

“Oh uh huh yeah sure sure sure,” the smaller monk says as her cheeks begin to flush and she pulls Yasha into her room.

Beau delicately loosens the straps and Yasha can feel the girl's fingers barely touching her back. Beau's fingers light a fire on Yasha's skin as the younger girl  begins to pull the armor up and over Yasha’s head. After it’s off they both sit there, not moving for a moment until Yasha turns around. She is much closer to Beau than she anticipated and feels her breath catch in her throat. Yasha can see Beau experiencing a similar sensation as she looks into her questioning blue eyes. Yasha looks away and reaches for the breastplate.

“It’s weird. This has protected me but it also has been holding me back.”

“Holding you back?"

“It’s like, this is the last physical tether that Obann has over me. I think he might always be a part of me here,” Yasha says, gesturing to her head, “but getting rid of this will help me... I don’t know, move forward.”

A few moments of silence pass when Beau suddenly asks “Wanna go chuck it into the ocean?”

“I would like that,” Yasha responds with a smile, only holding eye contact for a second as looking for any longer might overwhelm her.

Beau smiles and says, “Meet me downstairs in five,” and runs out of the room.

Yasha smiles to herself, but then her attention is drawn to the breastplate sitting in her lap. She wasn’t sure how to properly dispose of it, but a burial at sea does seem right. The ocean has fascinated Yasha since she first saw it in Nicodranas only a few months ago. Something about its infinite motion and relentlessness helps her escape her own mind for a while, and just be at peace. More recently it has reminded her of Beau’s eyes, which she often found herself getting lost in as well.

Yasha soon meets Beau downstairs. The monk has a sheepish smirk on her face and two mugs of ale in her hands. Yasha begins to question the drinks, but Beau stops her and says, “To celebrate.” Yasha nods as they leave the Chateau together.

They make their way down to the beach in comfortable silence, knowing each other’s presence is enough. There’s a bard in a nearby tavern playing light music on his lute, which they can just barely hear as they walk towards the shoreline. The faint strumming and the sounds of the waves crashing brings comfort to Yasha and helps her clear her mind. When they get to where the waves meet the sand, Yasha stops and stares at the armor in her hands.

“You’re sure about this?” Beau asks.

“Yes. I’m ready,” Yasha responds taking in a long breath. She steadies herself and just begins to throw the breastplate when she has an idea.

“Put down the mugs,” Yasha says insistently. Beau looks confused but lays them onto the sand without asking why when Yasha shoves the armor into her hands.

“Huh,” Beau begins but all of the sudden Yasha picks her up and bamfs out her wings.

“We only have a minute,” Yasha says lifting up off the ground and flying over the ocean. They get 120 feet out when Yasha stops and hovers. Beau looks at Yasha, waiting for confirmation. Yasha gives a nod and Beau drops the breastplate into the deep blue ocean. They watch it fall quickly and disappear into the depths. Yasha takes one more moment to watch the spot where it sank, and then flies them both back to the shore. Her wings disappear as they land and Yasha says, “Thank you for doing that with me.”

“Oh yeah of course uh thanks for letting me come,” Beau responds, slightly stuttering as she leans down towards the mugs. Before Yasha has the chance to respond Beau stands back up, handing one of the mugs to Yasha.

“To moving forward,” Beau declares raising her mug in celebration.

“To moving forward,” Yasha confirms clinking her glass with Beau's. 

They sit together just watching the waves and listening to the music from afar for a while, simply enjoying the view and each other’s presence. Just as the sun is beginning to set, Beau says with a grin, “I have a surprise.”

“A surprise?”

Beau stands up quickly and pulls a firework out of her pocket. 

“So a little birdie told me that you like bonfire dances,” Beau says, extending her hand to Yasha. Yasha takes it and Beau continues, “These aren’t exactly a bonfire but it’s as close as I can manage.”

“These are perfect Beau.”

Beau smiles and begins to light the firework. Yasha feels her heart beating quickly and her pulse begins to rush.

_Think about what's holding you back, those chains are definitely gone_ ,  Yasha thinks, remembering her conversation with Caduceus. A conversation that apparently Beau got wind of. Yasha takes this as a good sign. If Caduceus told Beau that Yasha likes bonfire dances, it means Beau could have been asking about her.

As Beau focuses on the spectacle about to occur, Yasha focuses on the combination of the lute and the ocean as they create a back and forth pulsation of rhythm and motion. She begins to sway and move her arms. Anyone observing her might’ve mistaken it as a ritual of some sort, rather than dancing, but Yasha pushes those thoughts away and let’s herself go. As Beau finishes lighting the firework she looks at Yasha and extends out her arms.

“You lead?” Beau asks, and Yasha nods grabbing her hands. They dance together without form, Yasha moving them as a unit together in motion. They begin leaping and swaying and spinning until they’re in a close embrace. The firework suddenly lights up the sky as patterns of flowers begin to appear. The roses and dandelions are blue against the orange and pink sunset and Yasha feels overcome with emotion. 

“Did you pick this one out for me?” She asks in awe, still holding Beau close to her.

“It had a flower on the label, so I was hoping it would work,” Beau says sheepishly, finally making eye contact with the taller woman.

They sway together, maintaining contact as the lights in the sky above begin to fade. Suddenly it’s just them on the shore, only accompanied by the sounds of the waves, the music, and their own breathing.

_Don't think you have more time necessarily than you might have_ , Caduceus’s words echo in her mind as she is encapsulated by Beau in her arms. Yasha takes the leap and quietly asks, “Beau... can I kiss you?”

Beau nods and moves in to kiss Yasha. As they meet, Yasha feels explosions of emotions almost as if the firework had gone off inside of her. She hasn’t kissed anyone since Zuala, and it’s so different with Beau. Not bad, just different. Zuala was more gentle and sweet, and while Beau is both of these things, the kiss feels more urgent yet delicate as well. It’s like no matter how many times she might kiss Beau, she will never be able to get enough. 

When they separate, both girls keep their eyes closed, not wanting the moment to be over. They are still in a close embrace, slightly swaying together. It’s Beau who breaks the silence and simply says, “Wow.”

“Yeah, wow,” is all Yasha can respond, becoming lost in the monk’s eyes.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” Beau says breaking eye contact and putting her head on Yasha’s chest.

“Really?” Yasha asks genuinely. She didn’t think she deserved a second chance at love, and she never thought Beau might feel the same way about her.

“Yasha I’ve literally flirted with you since the moment we met.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think there was any meaning behind it. Also you kind of stopped.” Yasha knows it’s been several months since Beau had tried blatantly flirting with her. She noticed the shift after Obann had taken her for the last time. 

“I just didn’t want to be an asshole and keep flirting with you while you were mourning your wife.”

It all begins to make sense to Yasha. Why Beau stopped the outright flirting, why Beau has become more gentle with her compliments lately, and why Beau hadn’t tried to make a move after all this time. It wasn't because of her possession and seeming betrayal, it was because Beau is genuinely considerate of Yasha's feelings. 

“That’s really kind of you Beau. But I think Zuala would want me to find happiness again. Also I never thought you were an ass-“

“Ehhh I definitely was,” Beau interrupts.

“Ok, maybe a little but you’re not the same Beau as the woman who asked me to carry her through the show.”

“And you’re not the same Yasha who tried to charge me five gold.”

“I like who we’ve become,” Yasha says stopping their swaying together.

“I do too,” Beau says looking back at Yasha. They both know it’s getting late and they should head back for the night, but neither want to leave their moment alone together. Yasha leads them both down onto the sand and sits, looking into the ocean. Beau lies down, putting her head on Yasha’s lap. Yasha begins playing with the monk’s hair as the sun finally sets over the ocean.

A few moments pass before Beau says, "I know we weren't able to find a magical item to help you stay you, but if you want I can try teaching you a trick of my own?"

"Really?" Yasha responds, not realizing such a thing might be possible.

"Yeah, when I meditate to still my mind, I think of the ocean, just like this. Peaceful and calm. It helps me push out anyone else's thoughts trying to force their way into my head."

"That's incredible Beau, you really think you can teach me that?" Yasha asks, ever in awe of the girl lying on her lap.

"Of course, we can start tomorrow if you want?"

"That would be wonderful," Yasha responds and Beau gives a sigh of contentment.

They sit there together for another hour or so until Beau drifts off into sleep. Yasha carefully maneuvers herself to pickup the girl in her arms and brings them back to the Lavish Chateau. Yasha places Beau onto the girl's bed when Beau begins to stir and grabs Yasha’s hand before she leaves.

“Stay?” Beau asks sleepily, already pulling Yasha towards the bed. 

“I would like that very much,” Yasha says lying down next to Beau and pulling the smaller girl closer to her. Beau quickly falls asleep again while Yasha lies awake for a little while longer, thinking about the events of the day.

She feels good. She feels happy. And finally, Yasha knows her will is her own, and she will not let anything hold her back again.

She falls asleep truly at peace for maybe the first time in her life. At last, she’s excited about moving forward and not looking back.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok I know this is the cheesiest thing ever but I wrote it right after the episode ended in a rush of inspiration at 3am. This is my first fic for Critical Role and I hope you all liked it!


End file.
